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Thoughts during a pandemic

…When all of this is over, let’s help Italy rebuild its economy with a great trip to eat all the burrata, pizza, pasta, prosiutto, gelati, and drink all the prosecco. I could do with another gastronomical trip to Italy.

…Think of all the people who contract this virus and have to die alone. The symptoms already sound crazy and on top of that, you’re left alone in an isolated room with doctors and nurses run off their feet, covered from head-to-toe not able to really comfort you? That makes me so sad.

…I have renamed my children Horrible Human #1 and Horrible Human #2 in my head. They’re difficult to be around, 24/7, with no break. Alex had just gotten into a habit of taking them out on his own for a few hours on the weekends and here we are. Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling me that I would actually really suck as a SAHM. Now, about that job…

…What a great time for me to have given notice, on my maternity leave, so I’m officially completely unemployed with the world heading into an unprecedented recession. Had I known this catastrophe was about to happen, would I have…? Probably yes, still, but the should’ve-would’ve-could’ve rhetoric is strong.

…What else can I buy? I’ve now scoured Amazon, Indigo, Gap/Old Navy, wine stores, baking stores, independent yarn dyers, chocolates…I must be missing something.

…But I can’t really buy clothes or anything to wear, for me, because where am I going? Plus, see above, I don’t even have a job so I have no real reason to buy anything new or fancy.

…Speaking of fancy, how about that car? That 0% financing for 60 months deal looked great when we drove by a couple of weeks ago but is it responsible to go to a car dealership these days? Are they even open? How do you practise social distancing and buy a car? Are they an essential service?

…Should I make a run for it to Taiwan? Sounds like they got it under control and I’d still be able to go out, eat good food – okay, it’s starting to sound a little too convincing, except for the whole having-to-be-in-an-airplane-for-12-hours part.

…I could offer to cook more

…or not

…While everyone is working through Netflix, Hulu, and Disney+ I haven’t watched anything. What have I been doing? The two hours I get after the kids go to sleep fly by when I’m reading all the Coronavirus news, send memes, and generally sift through a bunch of numbers that probably don’t mean anything in the long run. Maybe I should stop.

…Oh yeah, I’m supposed to make some masks this weekend with some of the fabric scraps, let’s see how that goes, I think I will need wine.

…Will we be able to access berries and fresh produce as the weather gets nicer? How will berry picking work? I moved back to Canada for berry picking. I need answers.

…I need to sleep. Why won’t the kids sleep through the night. They hate me.

…I say I won’t make pancakes anymore but then the request comes and I make them and then nobody eats them and I am the fool. UGH. And now we’re out of buttermilk again and damnit I have to go to the grocery store again? Every time after I come home I feel like I must have the ‘rona.

…Even though library books have been extended to at least April 30th and I have two on my bedside table have I read them? NO. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY TIME?

…And the knitting!

…Just, what is happening to my supposed “more time” with this quarantine? Is that not a thing when you have children? Especially children under the age of 3? Why didn’t anyone warn me about having children? Do I need children? Is it too late? It’s too late? What?

…I need to sleep more.

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