mango on an apple

On Thursday, our friend Malcolm graduated from U of T med school. On Friday, our friend Linda graduated from U of T school of dentistry. On Saturday, they got married. What a week for the happy couple!

I was a part of their wedding party as a bridesmaid, and thus had the privilege of being a front-row audience member to observe the emotions and interactions that went on in the days leading up to the grand finale. It was the first wedding for both sides of the family, so every little detail was minded with the greatest care. I think the reality of everything coming together began sinking in to everyone at the Rehearsal and Dinner on Thursday evening. The mock speeches at the chapel reminded us all the sanctity of marriage and just what a big deal it was going to be for our two friends to make the commitment to each other.

The bridesmaids jumped right in and got involved in all the traditions on the night before the wedding. First, there was the hair-combing. I’d never heard of this before, but the groom’s mother pointed out it was a Cantonese tradition that she did as a bride-to-be, and it seemed like an intimate little gathering that would be nice to have anyway, so Linda’s mom sought out a comb and so began the ceremony.

The beautiful cherrywood comb

Linda’s Aunt Mary did the combing as a “respected female elder”

As the combing takes place, Aunt Mary had to say blessings as she combed Linda’s hair. The blessings are typical ones on the eve of a wedding – i.e. may you and your husband cherish each other forever, may you be blessed with lots of children and grandchildren, and may your lives be happy, healthy, etc. In attendance were Linda’s immediate family, Aunt Mary, and the bridesmaids, which made it a very intimate ceremony.

After the hair-combing, we had to eat sticky rice balls. I think the symbolism lies within the round shape of the balls – i.e. circles go on forever, and there are no sharp angles to them, which means no conflict for the couple. The sweetness of the rice balls also brings a sweet marriage.

A peanut-filled sticky rice ball

Everyone in the bridal party partook in eating the rice balls

The big day began with lots of preparations – hair, makeup, flowers, dresses, photographers, guests and spectators and helpers, and everything else in between. We packed and re-packed emergency kits full of bobby pins and touch-up makeup, flip-flops and sunglasses, and took lots of photos in and outside of Linda’s house prior to departing Hamilton for Toronto. In true Chinese fashion, Linda’s family friends came over to help out with everything imaginable, and they all came bearing food and beverages for everyone.

Since I was running around getting ready to leave, I didn’t get to take as many photos the day of. However, I loved the bouquets and couldn’t resist taking a time out for them.

Once we got to the venue, everything went off without a hitch. I was a little nervous walking down the aisle (my first time in recent memory!) but I think everyone did just fine. The bride’s sister and the groom’s brother each gave a reading, which were both really touching and appropriate for the occasion, and the reverend did a great job bringing everything together. The vow exchange nearly had me in tears – and Linda did a fantastic job not melting into a puddle. I did dish out some tissues (very handy in my dress pockets) to Linda’s mom and sister, as well as one of the maids of honour. I think the reality of “Our Linda! Getting Married! To A MAN!” just hit everyone as the vows went on, and it was a very bittersweet moment for Linda’s parents to watch their eldest daughter take her vows so proudly. I can only imagine what it’d be like if I were the mother of the bride (or groom)!

Linda’s huge smile through the vows really spoke volumes about how everyone (including her) felt about this marriage!

At the reception, everyone in the bride and groom’s family gave very touching speeches, and watching Linda’s dad smile through the mixture of emotions he must’ve been feeling just about killed me. It was then that I realized what a tremendous event this wedding really was for both sets of parents.

In some way, this wedding was a graduation for Linda’s and Malcolm’s parents. As parents, they devoted their lives to raising their children; they ensured that their children achieved their goals and had plenty of opportunities to be the best they could be. The fruits of the labour was so apparent that evening in the reception hall. Linda and Malcolm not only became the best they could be (c’mon, they’re both doctors!), but the number of people who turned out to celebrate with them, and smile and cry through the ceremony and the speeches with them, was another testament to how successful both families were in bringing up their children. Their jobs as parents quietly drew to an unofficial close at the wedding – it’s Linda and Malcolm’s turn now to find their way, make their family, and bring up their own kids for this very same occasion in another couple of decades. Of course, parents will always be parents, and children will always be children. Yet, I’m sure that they felt it too as they gave their speeches congratulating the happy couple: this is an end of one generation, this marks the beginning of another to come.

To the happy couple, and their parents – congratulations, you’ve done so wonderfully, and I can only wish you the best and even better things to come. Thank you for including me in the wedding; it was an honour.

…and then I stick in a picture of the wedding cake I made them, because I really wanted to include it somewhere…

Since my birthday was coming up shortly before Linda’s wedding, and since I volunteered to make her wedding cake because I’m slightly nutty, I thought I would make my birthday cake and use it as practice. You know, what a great idea, making two large intricate cakes within a week or so of each other. Sometimes I really doubt my sanity. Thus, my cake is now affectionately named Bane of My Existence #1, and I am looking forward to Bane of My Existence #2 this week.

The bottom layer of the cake is actually a fake styrofoam block, because I really didn’t want to make a lot of cake that nobody would eat, and then I’d have to store in my freezer and slowly eat through and watch as my clothes stop fitting me. I also thought it was a genius idea since I could then start on decorating it much earlier and I’d only have to do the top edible layer closer to the date. WRONG! Of course I managed to twiddle my thumbs and waste away time that I could be working on the cake, until last Thursday when my birthday was looming around the corner I had a slight panic attack. Then I began working on it – at 6:57pm when I woke up at 3:40am that morning to drop off Alex at the airport.

The bottom layer is an actual eyelet design. The inspiration came from Martha Stewart and I was clearly over-ambitious on what my limited skills could do. I totally underestimated how difficult it was to add on the extra strip of fondant, but at that point I was still very optimistic and time was still on my side. So I did it, and it turned out pretty OK only after I applied all the royal icing decor on the layer…before that, the edges were pretty grotesque and uneven.

Now, the top layer was a bit more complicated. I wanted to do something just as visually appealing inside as it was on the outside, and since strawberries are just coming into season, I did alternating chocolate and strawberry layers with white chocolate buttercream. Local strawberries weren’t available to me, though, until Saturday morning at St. Lawrence Market…so I literally made the cakes on Saturday night and didn’t start on putting it all together until Sunday morning at 7:00am. The brunch with the cake was at noon. I’m a good time manager…yeah.

So as you can see, the top layer didn’t get the extra special treatment with the eyelet. Somewhat intricate icing patterns was all I could manage, considering I only had an hour to ice the top layer before I had to get ready and leave. I think I did alright for an hour’s worth of attention, though.

The inside lived up to the pretty-ness I had hoped for, but I must admit, fresh strawberries just didn’t add as much flavour to the cake as I had hoped they would. This is where fake flavouring would have made a bolder statement, but I guess fresh and natural is always better than fake flavours. The chocolate cake recipe wasn’t my usual one, but just as delicious and worked better for a layer cake. I added a shot of Bailey’s rather than vanilla extract or coffee, and it definitely jazzed up the flavour of the cake!

All in all, aside from my complaints, I think this cake was a pretty good accomplishment for my 25th birthday cake.